I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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