with your own penis?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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