Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
