I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
