So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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