Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
