I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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