i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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