Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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