You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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