All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
