The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
