We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
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Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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