theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
