I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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