Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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