My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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