I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
