The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize