And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
