She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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