Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
