just survived the first fart of the relationship.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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