Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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