you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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