i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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