You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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