sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel