is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested