one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
