a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
