a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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