New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
