ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
