your room smells of hookers.
And success
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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