Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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