Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
