What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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