Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize