from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
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I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
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Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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