never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
