so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
