Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
