I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
