I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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