M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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