he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
