I want to walk on stilts...naked
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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