I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
