there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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