Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
