too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
