But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
