Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
