i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
