what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
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Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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