also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
