ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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