dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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