i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i will never coherently bang her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
