The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
