We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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