To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
