Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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