Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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