why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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