Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
