dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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