so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
